The Secret Nosey Little Bugger Page
You weren’t supposed to find this… but you did. So now you're part of it.
Whether you stumbled in here by luck, curiosity, or sheer button-mashing, welcome.
This is the broom closet behind the backstage of Fail & Fortune.
The place where old audio clips hide, cursed tables live, and strange magic items are locked away because even we don’t know what they do.
You’re not in the normal part of the site anymore.
You’re in the weird zone. The fail realm. The bonus content cavern.
And we’re so glad you rolled high enough to get in.
Useless d20 Table: “What Did You Forget to Do Today?
Roll a d20 to discover your personal podcast production sin.
01
Press "Record"
02
Charge your mic
03
Write your session notes
04
Eat something besides coffee and fear
05
Let your players talk
06
Remember your own plotline
07
Rename your file something other than "Final_3"
08
Schedule sleep like an NPC
09
Not cry while editing
10
Include the outro music
11-19
Pretend everything’s fine
20
You’re a liar. Nobody rolls a 20. No refunds.
The Flask of Narrative Juice
Wondrous item, sentient, questionably legal
Description:
This grimy, dented brass flask always appears ¾ full of a glowing, carbonated pink liquid that smells vaguely of burnt spell slots and bad decisions. Sipping from it forces you to monologue for exactly 90 seconds — regardless of what's happening around you.
Effect:
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Upon drinking, you must immediately begin a melodramatic, fourth-wall-breaking backstory reveal, even if you're in combat, unconscious, or on mute.
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All nearby creatures are magically forced to listen, even enemies. They get no save.
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If the listener is a party member, they must roll a d6:
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1–2: Tear up
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3–4: Interrupt with “Wait… you never told us that!”
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5–6: Begin telling their backstory too, causing a chain reaction
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Cursed Quirks:
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Once per day, the flask sips itself and blurts out your draft outlines, character ideas you abandoned, or podcast names you almost chose.
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Cannot be thrown away. Will teleport back into your bag with a sticky note that reads:
"Your story isn’t over yet.
Attunement: None required, but it does try to follow you on social media.
Rarity: Legendary, but emotionally available.
Value: Priceless to bards. Useless to barbarians.
Manufacturer’s Note: Do not mix with Potion of Emotional Stability. Side effects may include podcasting.
SOLD OUT!!
Forever. Don’t ask
The Real Treasure: Apply in Secret
So you found this page. You clearly belong on the show.
Tell us about your glorious disaster, emotional TPK, or the moment you realized your villain arc was actually a redemption arc.
Fine Print (Because We Know Someone Will Ask)
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This page is unofficial, unaffiliated with reality, and powered by caffeine, dice, and collective trauma.
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No items are real. If you attempt to order one, you may be cursed with 1d4 hours of editing.
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Accessing this page does not grant you legal or magical standing in any jurisdiction.
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You may be contacted by a mysterious raven. We take no responsibility for what it tells you.
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All content subject to change by natural 1, wild magic surge, or DM fiat.